Do I Dare Have a God-sized dream?01/08/2013 - Author: Jennifer - 10 Comments
Do I dare have a God-sized dream?
I used to dream of traveling. I dreamt that my husband and I would travel more before our son was born. We did have small vacations, but mostly he said we couldn’t afford it. We mostly had to fly to visit family. If my husband, who is head of the house said no, then I had to oblige. My husband put his needs and wants before what was best for us and because of that, my spirit is crushed. Now, due to bad decisions on both of our parts, finances are not there.
I don’t know if I can dream. I feel like I am setting myself up for hurt, so right now, it terrifies me. We had planned a trip to Ireland but had to cancel due to the volcano that erupted. Why did God allow that? Maybe the timing wasn’t right for us to go, but then–why give me this desire if He says no?
I have been told no too many times and had so many roadblocks to travel that it is too painful to dream. Traveling is not the only dream that has not happened, but it is the one that keeps coming to mind. I would rather He give me a different dream, one that I feel is in His will. Is this a God-sized dream? I feel like it is because it seems only He can make it possible. Is it just a desire that I can’t have? I know the Bible says God will give you the desires of your heart if you delight in Him.(Psalm 37:4) Is that what I am missing? I think I am delighting in Him, but maybe I am not. I don’t believe God will give you the desires of your heart if you are not in God’s will/sinning.
What is my dream? Maybe my dream is to figure out what more God wants me to do to help further His kingdom. Maybe my dream is to dream again.