Afraid02/01/2013 - Author: Jennifer - 33 Comments
Every Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker over at Tales from a Gypsy Mama gives us a word and a challenge. To write for 5 minutes without abandon. It is fun and I encourage you to try it. Here we go! The word is…
The fear never stops. I tell myself–once we reach this milestone or that milestone, then I can stop being afraid. I am so grateful when we reach milestones as my son is growing, but I am afraid that he will not reach all of them. I am afraid that life will be a lot harder for him than I thought. I am afraid that I will fail. I will fail as a mom and he will not reach his full potential.
I hate that I have anxiety. Honestly, I am afraid to stop being afraid–like I let my guard down and make myself vulnerable to failure and heartache. I feel like being afraid keeps me on my toes, but it doesn’t. When I am afraid, it steals of joy and making memories with my son. That leads me to wonder if he knows I love him. Does he know how much I love him and I hope he doesn’t see my fear, but sees love.