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Marriage Under Attack

07/31/2013 - Author: Jennifer

Marriage Under AttackRecently, my marriage has been under attack. I should not have been surprised, but I was at first. I should not have been surprised because my husband Matt and I are committed to working on our marriage. We are committed to strengthening, nurturing, and enjoying our marriage by reading books, praying for each other, doing devotionals. We also recently attended a simulcast. I have talked about refinement. When you try harder to improve–attacks come. Well, we are being attacked.

It should not have come as a shock that our marriage was being attacked after I wrote an article on reconciliation and that I was going to have to put it into practice.

I really should not have been taken aback when my husband fell into temptation. Still, I was caught off-guard because I pray for him. I pray for his constant struggles with this, but I have been selfish in my prayers. I pray not just so he will exercise self-control and honor God (these are good reasons),  but I prayed that Matt would overcome temptation because I do not want to be hurt in this way again.  I need to refocus a little bit in how I pray to be a more effective prayer warrior.

When I pray for me  and in my role as Matt’s wife, I need to ask God to guide me as how to be the best helpmate to my husband. I need God to give me the strength and desire to trust my husband again. I have put the responsibility of restitution on my husband and I have not prayed for God to show me MY role towards restitution after the attack. Oh, I prayed that God would help me overcome and be stronger, but my role towards reconciliation—nope. That was reserved for my husband. I just wanted to look good and not do any work.

At first I was mad at my husband for doing what he did and then making excuses.  After the weekend was over, I was mad at Satan.  I am not saying that being mad at my husband was wrong, but I have to remember that Satan is the enemy, not Matt. Matt and I need to fight Satan together, not fight each other.

I feel the prayers that are being prayed for Matt and our marriage. My husband is taking more steps to help him in this area. My heart is softening towards him. I said things to my husband that I had to apologize for.  We are both in this marriage and we are both sinners saved by grace. I need to remember that.

So now, I am asking a favor. I need you. I need you to keep me accountable. I would appreciate it if you messaged me to ask me if I have prayed for my husband, and not selfishly. Can you do that?

Be blessed:)

9 Comments - Categories: Uncategorized

Reconciliation is not a Choice

07/20/2013 - Author: Jennifer

Reconciliation

I can hold a grudge. I mean, I am really good at taking my husband on a guilt trip. When I do this, I am not being obedient to the God I serve because forgiveness and reconciliation are not choices. They are commands.

Ephesians 4:32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. 

Mt 5:23-24 “So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24 leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. 

Instead of holding a grudge or holding on to hurt, I can take the first step in reconciliation. When I am in the wrong, I need to apologize. I must choose humility. If my husband has wronged me in any way, I need to choose to forgive. To take this a step further, choose to forgive before the apology. 

No, I can’t do this on my own. I am way too human for that. Sometimes, it is easier to forgive and move on, and other times it seems harder or more work. God didn’t give anyone an exception when it comes to forgiveness or reconciliation, so He has to help me, right? Something that might help is to remember that husbands, just like wives, are God’s children. Try to see your husband as God sees us~~ we are all sinners in need of grace.

I need to remember that the end result NEEDS to be resolution and reconciliation, NOT restitution or resentment. With God’s help and grace, it HAS happened and it WILL happen.

Be blessed:)

4 Comments - Categories: Uncategorized

BELONG

07/19/2013 - Author: Jennifer

Every Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker over at Tales from a Gypsy Mama gives us a word and a challenge. To write for 5 minutes without abandon. It is fun and I encourage you to try it. Here we go! The word is…

BELONG

BELONG

A fish out of water. I feel like I just can’t get settled. You are supposed to feel like you belong when you move back close to the place you grew up. We were not gone for long, but long enough. People get comfortable and you are no longer welcomed into the social circle. Then I choose to stay home when my son is born, but work very infrequently outside the home. I always feel like I am 1-2 steps behind, trying to keep up or catch up with the ever-changing world around me, here at home and in the outside world.

Then, one day, you join a Bible Study. All of these strangers welcome me and make me feel like I belong by welcoming me. We welcome each other. It seems that we have all been the new girl who just wants to feel like we belong. No, we don’t have everything in common, but we welcome each other.

I finally belong with these gals.

Be blessed:)

Five Minute Friday

6 Comments - Categories: Uncategorized

Present

07/12/2013 - Author: Jennifer

Every Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker  gives us a word and a challenge. To write for 5 minutes without abandon. It is fun and I encourage you to try it. Here we go! The word is…

Present

         Present FMF

There are so many times that I wish I was somewhere else, somebody else, or with someone else. I whine. I complain. I do not appreciate the good things that I have. It doesn’t even have to be when times are bad or when times are hard. I get bored. I get discouraged. Instead of being present, I wish for more.

There are so many times that I am not present. The times when being a mom doesn’t seem enough. To just sit and be present with my son is so hard. Is this really important? To just be? Is my presence really that important to him? What message am I sending to him when I don’t sit with him during snack time? He doesn’t converse~~ so why bother? Is my presence important to him like conversation is important to me?

What about when my husband wants to sit and watch a movie? It is almost impossible for me to do so without having my laptop or phone with me to get me through the slow times of a movie. If he did that, I would be upset. I would feel like being present with me wasn’t enough.

I need to be fully present so my family knows I appreciate them. To let them know I love them. Being present can really convey a message, right? What do you think?

Be blessed:)

Five Minute Friday

9 Comments - Categories: Uncategorized

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