Marriage Under Attack07/31/2013 - Author: Jennifer - 9 Comments
Recently, my marriage has been under attack. I should not have been surprised, but I was at first. I should not have been surprised because my husband Matt and I are committed to working on our marriage. We are committed to strengthening, nurturing, and enjoying our marriage by reading books, praying for each other, doing devotionals. We also recently attended a simulcast. I have talked about refinement. When you try harder to improve–attacks come. Well, we are being attacked.
It should not have come as a shock that our marriage was being attacked after I wrote an article on reconciliation and that I was going to have to put it into practice.
I really should not have been taken aback when my husband fell into temptation. Still, I was caught off-guard because I pray for him. I pray for his constant struggles with this, but I have been selfish in my prayers. I pray not just so he will exercise self-control and honor God (these are good reasons), but I prayed that Matt would overcome temptation because I do not want to be hurt in this way again. I need to refocus a little bit in how I pray to be a more effective prayer warrior.
When I pray for me and in my role as Matt’s wife, I need to ask God to guide me as how to be the best helpmate to my husband. I need God to give me the strength and desire to trust my husband again. I have put the responsibility of restitution on my husband and I have not prayed for God to show me MY role towards restitution after the attack. Oh, I prayed that God would help me overcome and be stronger, but my role towards reconciliation—nope. That was reserved for my husband. I just wanted to look good and not do any work.
At first I was mad at my husband for doing what he did and then making excuses. After the weekend was over, I was mad at Satan. I am not saying that being mad at my husband was wrong, but I have to remember that Satan is the enemy, not Matt. Matt and I need to fight Satan together, not fight each other.
I feel the prayers that are being prayed for Matt and our marriage. My husband is taking more steps to help him in this area. My heart is softening towards him. I said things to my husband that I had to apologize for. We are both in this marriage and we are both sinners saved by grace. I need to remember that.
So now, I am asking a favor. I need you. I need you to keep me accountable. I would appreciate it if you messaged me to ask me if I have prayed for my husband, and not selfishly. Can you do that?