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Marriage Under Attack

07/31/2013 - Author: Jennifer - 9 Comments

Marriage Under AttackRecently, my marriage has been under attack. I should not have been surprised, but I was at first. I should not have been surprised because my husband Matt and I are committed to working on our marriage. We are committed to strengthening, nurturing, and enjoying our marriage by reading books, praying for each other, doing devotionals. We also recently attended a simulcast. I have talked about refinement. When you try harder to improve–attacks come. Well, we are being attacked.

It should not have come as a shock that our marriage was being attacked after I wrote an article on reconciliation and that I was going to have to put it into practice.

I really should not have been taken aback when my husband fell into temptation. Still, I was caught off-guard because I pray for him. I pray for his constant struggles with this, but I have been selfish in my prayers. I pray not just so he will exercise self-control and honor God (these are good reasons),  but I prayed that Matt would overcome temptation because I do not want to be hurt in this way again.  I need to refocus a little bit in how I pray to be a more effective prayer warrior.

When I pray for me  and in my role as Matt’s wife, I need to ask God to guide me as how to be the best helpmate to my husband. I need God to give me the strength and desire to trust my husband again. I have put the responsibility of restitution on my husband and I have not prayed for God to show me MY role towards restitution after the attack. Oh, I prayed that God would help me overcome and be stronger, but my role towards reconciliation—nope. That was reserved for my husband. I just wanted to look good and not do any work.

At first I was mad at my husband for doing what he did and then making excuses.  After the weekend was over, I was mad at Satan.  I am not saying that being mad at my husband was wrong, but I have to remember that Satan is the enemy, not Matt. Matt and I need to fight Satan together, not fight each other.

I feel the prayers that are being prayed for Matt and our marriage. My husband is taking more steps to help him in this area. My heart is softening towards him. I said things to my husband that I had to apologize for.  We are both in this marriage and we are both sinners saved by grace. I need to remember that.

So now, I am asking a favor. I need you. I need you to keep me accountable. I would appreciate it if you messaged me to ask me if I have prayed for my husband, and not selfishly. Can you do that?

Be blessed:)

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Discussion (9 Comments)

  1. by Natalie
    Reply

    I admire your courage through your troubled time. I’ll pray for you strength to be increased. Don’t know that this will help but a pastor once told me that we feel dissapointment because we set expectations. If we just trust God to do His job and we submit to Gods will, God will work on our partners. Although it appears to make sense, I have yet to successfully implement this belief structure. I pray Gods will on your family and peace and goodness follow you all the days of your life.

    • Thank you so much! I appreciate your encouragement. Be blessed:)

  2. […] I am learning that conferences can help a good or bad marriage and that times will get hard if effort is being put forth. Not just because change is hard, but […]

  3. by Valarie
    Reply

    God bless you. You are the Proverbs 31 wife! Your willingness to pray for Matt.. especially when you have been hurt… is the gift in a marriage covenant. As the Lord loves us in spite of our sin, we must love each other in all our weaknesses and imperfections. Jesus forgave us. He asks us to forgive. We extend forgiveness from a place of mercy. That is where your husband’s heart will turn and ultimately the sin will fall off. To extend grace to a person who in our eyes has hurt us and isn’t worthy.. my goodness.. what a high calling from the Lord.

    We can volunteer on church committees and take part in bible studies but the real fruit comes when we can minister the Agape Love -our Savior so freely shed His blood to give- in the hard times and to “difficult” people. In the imperfect places of your marriage, God wants to change YOU. I applaud your willingness to participate. You are a precious example to many of us women.

    “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.” -Proverbs 31: 10-11

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  5. by Sarah
    Reply

    My book club is just finishing up reading “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie OMartin. I’m sure you have heard of it, but it was awesome to go through it as a group. It meant that each of us prayed for our husband, and each other’s husbands for a whole month. It’s a great tool to refocus our prayers so that they aren’t selfish. She leads Scripture inspired prayers, and there is no better way to have God’s heart for our hubbies than by praying HIS words over our men. Good for you for recognizing and reaching out in an area of weakness! With you, sister!

  6. by Emily
    Reply

    I’m in tears, your words are my life too…all the way down to your husband’s name. I pray for your strength to continue to overcome as it’s a daily choice we must make….to choose to overcome, to choose to love, to choose to forgive.

    • by Jennifer
      Reply

      Praying we overcome!!! (Sorry I am just now seeing this)

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