Working Mom Blues06/03/2014 - Author: Jennifer - No Comments
I am feeling like a failure at being a mom. I really am having a hard time seeing and believing why God chose me to be my son’s mom. Someone else is better equipped to do this. I even have a list in how I have failed my son
- Not being responsible with money in the past has now impacted what he can and can not do now
- I have fear and anxiety that he will get sick (again) in a restaurant so we don’t go out
- He isn’t potty trained. Yes, being special needs this will take longer, but really?!
- I don’t understand him. Due to his lack of comprehension and emotional understanding, we both get frustrated
- I lose my temper
- I am not creative or crafty
- My husband and I don’t get along at times
- I want to go to work. I like working outside of the home. I think it makes me a better mom.
- My son doesn’t want to be with me. They say boys love their moms, but I am not living that reality. He would rather be with my husband.
- He has learned more since starting public pre-school and daycare. He is thriving. He is doing better since being away from me. I couldn’t teach him
I love my son. Really I do. I hope he believes me when I tell him I do. I do have to wonder if I did anything right. All I can do is pray for healing and have hope. But I feel that this is a hopeless situation. I am struggling with my faith–is God really going to conquer this for us, or is this punishment for my sins? I feel like I have 3 strikes against me as an American Christian woman
- I work outside of the home
- I put my son in daycare
- I put my son in public school
When I talk to other moms and I tell them that I work because I want to, I just feel like there is judgement in the awkward moment after I speak my truth. I think they also feel sorry for me when I tell them that I just couldn’t stay home full-time anymore. He needed to be in an environment to help him with his special needs. That environment is public school. (and it is awesome)!
There is more than one way to parent. I need to do what God wants me to do, and not listen to naysayers–including me.
Be blessed 🙂