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Release

06/20/2014 - Author: Jennifer

Every Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker hosts Five Minute Friday. What is it? Check out the rules here then come back and read my post.Release

Today, the word is….RELEASE

I think that we have all been hurt by someone. People will let us down. If this isn’t you, then you probably have superficial relationships and you don’t need to read on.

I think there are things we need to release and things to hold on to.

What to release:

  • Fear
  • Resentment
  • Unforgiveness
  • Anxiety
  • Anger
  • Hurt
  • Expectations (sometimes)

What to hold tight to

  • Faith
  • Hope
  • Trust that good can be done from this
  • Love

What can you find

  • Freedom–we can be free to breath and live and laugh.
  • Happiness–maybe not right away. It might take some getting used to, but you can be happy.

Be blessed 🙂

Five Minute Friday

7 Comments - Categories: Uncategorized

Working Mom Blues

06/03/2014 - Author: Jennifer

Working Mother Blues

I am feeling like a failure at being a mom. I really am having a hard time seeing and believing why God chose me to be my son’s mom. Someone else is better equipped to do this. I even have a list in how I have failed my son

  • Not being responsible with money in the past has now impacted what he can and can not do now
  • I have fear and anxiety that he will get sick (again) in a restaurant so we don’t go out
  • He isn’t potty trained. Yes, being special needs this will take longer, but really?!
  • I don’t understand him. Due to his lack of comprehension and emotional understanding, we both get frustrated
  • I lose my temper
  • I am not creative or crafty
  • My husband and I don’t get along at times
  • I want to go to work. I like working outside of the home. I think it makes me a better mom.
  • My son doesn’t want to be with me. They say boys love their moms, but I am not living that reality. He would rather be with my husband.
  • He has learned more since starting public pre-school and daycare. He is thriving. He is doing better since being away from me. I couldn’t teach him

I love my son. Really I do. I hope he believes me when I tell him I do. I do have to wonder if I did anything right. All I can do is pray for healing and have hope. But I feel that this is a hopeless situation. I am struggling with my faith–is God really going to conquer this for us, or is this punishment for my sins? I feel like I have 3 strikes against me as an American Christian woman

  1. I work outside of the home
  2. I put my son in daycare
  3. I put my son in public school

When I talk to other moms and I tell them that I work because I want to, I just feel like there is judgement in the awkward moment after I speak my truth. I think they also feel sorry for me when I tell them that I just couldn’t stay home full-time anymore. He needed to be in an environment to help him with his special needs. That environment is public school. (and it is awesome)!

There is more than one way to parent. I need to do what God wants me to do, and not listen to naysayers–including me.

Be blessed 🙂

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What I Don’t Regret

04/21/2014 - Author: Jennifer

34 No Regrets

 

I recently read a post by KC Proctor. He had a list of 31 things he didn’t regret. It was a fun post and inspired me to make a list of my own for my birthday. So, without further ado and no order…..

  1. Knowing Jesus
  2. Being a Pittsburgh Steelers Fan
  3. Being a Cincinnati Reds Fan
  4. Being a cheerleader (it is a sport)!
  5. Letting guys be chivalrous
  6. My 5 years living in Florida
  7. Being a virgin until I was married
  8. Not finishing The Wizard of Oz (way too annoying)
  9. Getting married at 22
  10. Marrying Matt
  11. Not having a child right away
  12. Having my son be an only child
  13. Getting an epidural
  14. Being a stay-at-home mom
  15. Being a working mom
  16. Taking vacations without my son
  17. My favorite souvenirs–shot glasses (cheap and last longer than a shirt)
  18. Not wearing make-up (nothing wrong with it, just usually go without)
  19. Laughing A LOT
  20. My pre-mature aging due to laugh lines
  21. Apologizing when I was wrong
  22. Exercising restraint by keeping my mouth shut (This can be tough for me)
  23. Using my pain for the good of others
  24. The times I was vulnerable
  25. Being honest with encouragement
  26. Showing and telling others when I appreciate them
  27. Buying our house
  28. My love of the beach
  29. My love for Starbucks
  30. My love of good food
  31. Vacationing without an agenda
  32. Not liking cheesecake
  33. Not liking pie
  34. Being an x-ray technologist and not a registered nurse  

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Why Get Dressed

04/08/2014 - Author: Jennifer

Why Get Dressed

When I became a mom and chose to stay home, I made a decision–I was going to get dressed.

Before I had my son, I would notice a lot of moms say they don’t care, don’t have time, wasn’t worth it when you don’t go anywhere (ummm….I see you out of the house) anywho… or they wear what is comfortable. What I saw was sad looking. They looked depressed. They looked sad when they say that being a mom is a good thing and are happy with where they are in life.  They looked tired (and probably are).

I personally do not believe in having “good yoga pants” or whatever. I also believe that if you wear clothes that are meant to work out in, then exercise. If you have clothes for lounging in, then please, lounge at home. Let’s make being a wife look appealing. Let’s make motherhood look fabulous, not depressing, dowdy, sad, or frumpy. I am not saying spend a lot of money or time, just a little effort.

Why I think that getting dressed is important:

  • I feel better. It helps my mood
  • I want to be an example for girls and my son–that being a wife and mom does not mean you have to “let yourself go”
  • I like looking good for my husband. Wearing pants that button and zip can communicate I love you, you are important, and you are worth some time
  • I.am.worth.it.
  • I don’t think it is sinful. Let me expand on that. Yes, I know that we shouldn’t judge how people look on the outside. No, we shouldn’t make fashion or make-up,etc an idol. We HAVE to wear clothes and I am not saying go in debt, but please, putting in effort should not be considered sinful.
  • Your husband appreciates it. You put effort when you were dating, so don’t stop.
  • Fashion can be an expression of who you are and what you like.
  • Remember who you were before kids. Before becoming a wife. Don’t forget who your husband fell in love with.

There will be times when you oversleep, kids get sick on you, etc. but can we please make that the exception and not the rule? Looking back, I appreciate my home-schooling mom who did get dressed everyday and I don’t remember her going out in pants that had elastic waistbands. Thank you mom!

Now, maybe because I live in a college town, but I have to get this out there. Husbands–if you are willing to spend over $50 on a sweatshirt to show what team you support, then please, be willing to spend a little on a shirt or jacket to wear when you go out with your wife.

I know that it can seem exhausting or seem useless sometimes, but maybe having a different attitude can help. You are worth it. Your husband is worth it. Your kids are worth it.

Be blessed 🙂

 

2 Comments - Categories: Uncategorized

Is There Really A Purpose To Marriage?

04/01/2014 - Author: Jennifer

I had the privilege of chatting with Unveiled Wife about Day 1 in her devotional Wife After God. You can click here to see the video. I wanted to expand on it a little bit.

I need to live less selflessly. I can’t serve expecting something in return. I can’t serve thinking that I am the better spouse. I have to stop thinking of ways that Matt can be better and how I can help him be better. I need to let God take care of him. If He wants to use me, then I am honored.  I also need to pray for me to be a better wife. I believe that being a better wife is being a better servant to Jesus.

It is true that I have never thought about marriage serving a purpose. Jennifer really did open my eyes to see that it does! How cool is that? That God would allow my marriage to be used for Him? (If I let Him). How amazing is it that one of the biggest blessings from Him can be a tool for Him? Ummm…sure! It never occurred to me that marriage can mirror God’s love–marriage can tell God’s love story. How did I miss this?! Ephesians 5:22-33 talks about it, but all I ever heard was how wives should submit. (People usually don’t talk about how husbands are to die for their wives, but, that is another topic).

Jennifer asked me something that God has taught me. One of the lessons is that Satan is the enemy, not Matt. Another one that I want to focus on is that God is always there. I remember hearing that growing up in Church, but it was usually in relation to sin. To me, it seemed like God was looking down ready to punish me when I sinned. I felt like church people were trying to help me not sin and disappoint God. Then I read it in the book To Walk or Stay by Lara Williams and saw it in another way. I saw grace. Then I didn’t give anymore thought until it hit me in the head. However, I can honestly say that I HAVE FELT GOD WITH ME when I followed His will and when I have not. When I doubt. When I fear. When I am faithful and obedient to His Word. When I use harsh words. When I have bad thoughts. When I have tried to leave my marriage. When I go to counseling. He.is.always.there. He never left me. When I asked God “Do I really have to do this?” and I already knew the answer. God taught me/proved to me that He didn’t show up–He was already there and always is. [Really, I cringe when people pray for God to show up. I am ok if, like me, you ask Him to reveal what He wants or prove Himself (again). I am thankful for grace. OK–enough ranting].

Another way that my marriage is a mirror of God’s love is grace. I am giving it and so is my husband. Jesus does this daily for me, so it is only right that it goes into my marriage.

Yes, I know that all marriages need grace and selflessness, but for some people, grace comes a whole lot easier for them than it does for me. There are wives out there who serve joyfully with ease. I am too lazy and selfish for that sometimes. Maybe sacrifice is a way your marriage tells people about Jesus and His love for you, me, and them. Maybe it is something else.

I can’t tell you how grateful I am to Jennifer’s obedience to serving God with Unveiled Wife. I encourage wives out there to get the devotional. It might be hard to do, but worth it!

Also, thank you Jennifer for taking the time to chat and for the opportunity to serve in the Unveiled Wife community.

Be blessed 🙂

P.S. I do roll my eyes a lot, but it is not because I am bored. I assure you. I have a tic and my eyes do that and I don’t even notice it.

6 Comments - Categories: Uncategorized

Willing

03/07/2014 - Author: Jennifer

Every Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker gives a word prompt and encourages bloggers and writers to write for 5 minutes with out abandonment. Today the word is…

WILLING

Ready willing and able–I don’t know who said it, but it is popular.

Here is the thing–I don’t think that you have to be all 3. I think there are times where I thought I was all 3, but learned that I wasn’t and have had some lessons on humility given to me.

You think you are ready for marriage, parenting, college, work, etc. Maybe you are, but maybe, just maybe, you are only ready and able, but not willing to do some things. Maybe you could volunteer more or spend more time outside of your normal, but you are not willing.

I think that my walk with Jesus is teaching me that I am usually not willing. I am not always ready. I am not always able. Is He asking me to do something that I am not any of the 3, but need to step out and lean into Him to teach me so I am able. To give me the tools so I am ready. What is missing? I mean REALLY missing? My willingness to obey.

Maybe it is something to give up. Am I willing to stop doing something, no matter how much I like it, if it is for the better?

So being ready, willing, and able–overrated sometimes. I think willingness is a gift and that readiness and ability can be taught. Sometimes, we just have to step out in faith.

Be blessed 🙂

Five Minute Friday

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CHOOSE

02/28/2014 - Author: Jennifer

We make many choices every day. Some choices are made for us.

There are choices that weigh heavy on me. Did I make the right decision? Did I set the course for my son for him to choose poorly or will he choose well? (and who am I to decide?)

Sometimes love is a choice. It doesn’t matter if it is in marriage, parenting, or friendships. Sometimes, we can’t let emotions be our guide. We have to choose love. We have to choose truth.

Life isn’t always fair. In our work, sometimes people with authority make choices for us.

There are times when I don’t want to be obedient, but I choose to be.

There are times when I must choose joy. When I must choose happiness. When I choose to make time for those I love instead of what I want to do.

We choose how we spend our time. I don’t choose wisely since I am selfish, but I pray God fills in the gaps of my failures.

Be blessed:)

Five Minute Friday

2 Comments - Categories: Uncategorized

My Whole Heart

02/24/2014 - Author: Jennifer

“If you look for Me wholeheartedly, you will find Me.” Jeremiah 29:13

This verse. This verse made me pause and think. The more popular verse is verse 11 which can be taken out of context. It can also give comfort, but I don’t want to rant. Jeremiah 29:13–that made me say ouch.

There have been times I have asked God where He is. Am I not looking with all of my heart? Am I being lazy? Scared of what He will say? Is it the times that I don’t hear Him because I am not looking for Him with all I have? The verse before this one says that He hears, so I know my prayers on being heard and that God is listening. I know that there are times where we are to shut up, listen, or wait. I hate waiting.

How long have I been doing the Christian thing with only a little of my heart? How long have I been proclaiming that I follow Jesus with all that I am, but I am giving Him leftovers?

I need repentance. What have I missed by not searching God with my whole heart? How much have I messed up (myself and others) by being selfish and scared? I probably won’t like what He wants me to do all of the time, but really, Christianity should be all or nothing. I am ashamed to say that I feel I have been lukewarm at times.

I know that nobody will be perfect, but if I am going to shine the Light of Jesus, I need to let Him guide all of my heart and life. If not, well, I don’t think that I am being obedient.

What are your thoughts? I would like to hear them.

Be blessed:)

1 Comment - Categories: Uncategorized

How do you look for God?

02/12/2014 - Author: Jennifer

SONY DSC

 

“And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to Him must believe that God exists and that He rewards those who sincerely seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6 (NLT)

I have missed something very important.

Sincerely seek Him. I am not saying that I missed it because I am not rewarded.

I don’t believe I have sought Him sincerely in every area of my life. I rely on Him to get me through the day. To guide me. To get me out of pickles. There are a lot of times that I feel alone—where I don’t feel like He is helping me out.

I know that there have been times where I have prayed, knowing I am going to do what I am going to do and deal with what comes later. This type of praying really isn’t genuine. This type of praying isn’t seeking Him with sincerity. It is lying to ask for help and then ignore it. Let’s face it–God isn’t going to validate sin.

They say to take a step of faith. Well, I did that and it failed. I did what I truly believed was what God was leading me to do, and I was wrong. I am still living with that. So guess what? I can’t. I can’t do it. I need Him to keep opening the doors if He wants me to do something. My faith is a little weak.

I do believe this: There is a God. He meets me where I am. I need to seek Him more sincerely. It is not enough to believe that He is there. (Satan knows that and I want to be better than that). I need to seek by studying the Bible better and praying with confidence that He will answer. Then–trust and obey. Easy? For me, not always.

I know that I don’t have to have all of the answers. I am not expecting perfection, but I would love clarity. Maybe it starts by seeking Him sincerely. What do you think? How do you sincerely seek God?

Be blessed 🙂

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Hero

01/31/2014 - Author: Jennifer

The spouse who is trying to trust again after being hurt.

The pregnant woman who is surrendering the baby inside of her to someone else. No matter if it is the right decision, there is pain in sacrifice that might never leave.

The parent who doesn’t give up the fight.

The soldiers who sacrifice their time, and sometimes, their lives.

The patient battling a disease that leaves their body broken.

The blogger or writer who writes with vulnerablity knowing there will be opposition because maybe, it will help at least one person.

The student who works harder than other classmates for better grades because you have challenges that not everyone understands.

The teachers who work with those students.

The person with disability who fights to fit in, keep up, works hard to break down barriers and fight status quo so maybe the next generation will have a slightly easier time.

The single parent.

The one who faces the bully.

The person fighting to overcome addiction.

The person who wears their heart on their sleeve and loves without abandon.

The introvert meeting new people and trying new things.

The one who fights for what they KNOW is right and everyone else says they are wrong

These people….they are heroic. They are brave. I applaude you. I admire you. You deserve to be mentioned. Today, I honor you. You are fighting to make the world a better place. You work to make a difference. You may go unnoticed, but that doesn’t mean you are any less brave or that your impact is unimportant. I want you to know and believe that.

Be blessed:)

Five Minute Friday

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