Ladies, I know I am not alone. We are told from a young age to pray for your future husbands. We are told to make a list and tell God (basically recite it). Now, I am not saying to not tell God what you think you want. I did it. It sounded so spiritual and Scriptural (Psalm 37:4 anyone)? This was easy for me. (I don’t remember praying for my role as a wife very often, oddly enough). Now that I have been married for a dozen years, I have been humbled by a real lesson:
Pray for future husband=easy. Praying for the man I married and for my marriage=hard.
Not that I have never prayed for my husband or marriage–I have intermittently. They have ranged from blissful lovey-dovey (thank you God for my marriage), asking for God’s favor (please bless this marriage), to desperate (God save my marriage!).
I have asked God a couple of questions when I have prayed:
- God who is THIS man?
- Why did THIS happen?
- Why did I marry him? (I will say that I feel the advice to remember why you got married in the 1st place feels ill-advised when I am going thru a hard season. People change and if he isn’t the same man anymore, I need a new reason).
- WHO am I? I don’t remember anymore.
I have also been bossy and told God what to do (He is God. He can handle my bossiness):
- Since You allowed this to happen, help me!
- My husband does not meet my list/needs/wants that I prayed for or meets my expectations. Open his eyes.
- He doesn’t get me anymore. Please tell him what I need since me talking is not working.
Why is it hard to pray for my husband? Why do I not devote sometime EVERYDAY to praying for someone that I made a covenant with and promised to forsake everyone else? I have a list of excuses:
- Facing an unknown diagnosis/future for our son
- Feeling defeated
- Life gets in the way. (Social commitments, church, family, etc.).
- Health issues
- Family issues (mine and his).
In all fairness, I do also fail to to consistently pray for me. I am a work in progress. I have no excuses.
I type this for a couple of reasons.
- I want to be honest and say that praying for my marriage is something I struggle with and I hope that I am not alone.
- Go ahead and tell God what you want, but you might be surprised. I married a man completely opposite of what I thought I wanted and honestly needed. Yes, I know saying needed will offend people, but I am just trying to live and learn where He leads and marriage is one of the ways He is refining me. I am trying to go with it.
- I can not give up! I can’t give up on this marriage when I don’t get my way or when times are hard.
- The Bible says to not stop praying. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
Wives are you with me? Let’s commit not making any more excuses and be consistent in praying for the most important relationship here on earth?
Be blessed 🙂